What to Do When You Feel Like Nothing

What to Do When You Feel Like Nothing

What a strange day. Nothingness. That’s what I was feeling like yesterday and that’s the same feeling I woke up with this morning. Like being nothing. No, not like absolutely nothing, at least that would have brought some numbing peace. Like anxious, derailed and frantic nothing. The kind of nothing that can’t even do anything and is terrified about it at the same time. What am I doing to myself and why? 

Alarm time: 6.30am. First move: 7.14am - well, that’s an improvement and counts as my first accomplishment for the day. Time to pick myself up and on to the yoga mat. Because I had a hard time getting out of bed, I began doing yoga while I was still in bed. Started with a gentle Yoga Nidra. How is this possible that someone who JUST woke up is already needing to relax and de-stress? That’s just telling me how anxious I am and need to take things easy. My in-bed yoga got me going and I ended up transitioning on to the yoga mat for standing poses. Feeling better already!

Very happy I ended up doing a whole hour of yoga. My lower back pain has subsided somewhat and I’m not feeling it as much when I stand upright. Thanks, yoga! I’ve been very careful with my forward bends, trying to go very slowly and gently. For now, I go easy on paschimottanasana (seated forward bend) and don’t include it in most of my sequences because of the back pain.

Had another fight with my [soon to be ex] husband. Our marriage is dead, has been dead for some time now. And it makes me so sad. Always remember to stay kind to one another no matter what. That was the lesson and the reminder for me for the day. In this spirit, I would like to share the excerpt from the Loving Kindness Meditation (Mettā Bhāvanā), which is taught on the last day of the 10-day course of Vipassana meditation:

Loving kindness meditation:

May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be safe
May you live with ease

If you're like me going through some tough times, give it a try and I guarantee a combination of yoga and mindfulness meditation will change your perspective.

Random Idea of the Day: create a cookbook of best recipes I’ve collected over the years from different meal delivery services: Sun Basket, Hello Fresh, Green Chef, Blue Apron, Plated - which is now gone, all is left from the subscription is hard copies of past recipes, and a few other experiments. 

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